在日常学习、工作抑或是生活中，大家一定都接触过故事吧，那么股票配资平台是做什么的，都有哪些经典童话故事呢?以下是小编帮大家整理的搞笑英文笑话故事，供大家参考借鉴，希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友。
搞笑英文笑话故事
兔子的论文
Its a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。
Fox: "What are you working on?"
展开剩余98%狐狸：“你在做什么呢?”
Rabbit: "My thesis."
兔子：“写我的论文。”
Fox: "Hmmm. Whats it about?"
狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的?”
Rabbit: "Oh, Im writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”
Fox: "Thats ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits dont eat foxes."
狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。跟我来。”
They both disappear into the rabbits burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。
Wolf: "Whats that youre writing?"
狼：“你在写什么呢?”
Rabbit: "Im doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
兔子：“我在写论文，关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”
Wolf: "You dont expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
狼：“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
兔子：“能发表，你想知道为什么吗?”
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
兔子和狼一起进了洞穴，而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。
Inside the rabbits burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
兔子洞穴里：一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头，另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子，它边打着饱嗝，边剔着牙齿。
It doesnt matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
论文的题目选什么无关紧要。
It doesnt matter what you use for data.
你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
真正重要的是：你的论文导师是谁!
刻舟求剑
A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isn’t this a very foolish way to look for a sword?
楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。
拔苗助长
Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who planted a plot of rice. After he planted the seedlings, every day he went to the field to watch the seedlings grow. He saw the young shoots break through the soil and grow taller each day, but still, he thought they were growing too slowly. Eventually he got impatient with the young plants and suddenly he hit upon an idea that one by one, he pulled up the young plants by half an inch. The next early morning, the young man couldn’t wait to check his “achievement”, but he was heart-broken to see all the pulled-up young plants dying.
从前，有个农夫，种了稻苗(seedlings)后，便希望能早早收成。每天他到稻田时，都发觉那些稻苗长得非常慢。他等得很不耐烦。想了又想，他终于想到一个“最佳方法”，他将稻苗全都拔高了几分。第二天，一早起身，他迫不及待地去稻田看他的“成果”。 哪知，却看到所有的稻苗都枯萎了。
掩耳盗铃
Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal his neighbor’s doorbell. However, he knew clearly that the bell would ring and catch the other people’s attention as long as he touched the bell. So he thought hard and suddenly hit on a clever “idea”. He plugged his ears with something, thinking that everything would go well when he stole the bell. Unfortunately to his disappointment, the bell still rang loudly and he was caught on the spot as a thief.
从前，有一个人想偷邻居门上的铃，但是他知道一碰到铃，铃就会响起来，被人发现。他想啊想，终于他想出一个“妙极”，他把自己的耳朵用东西塞起来，就听不见铃声了。但是当他去偷铃时，铃声仍旧响起来，他被别人当场抓住
画蛇添足
Long long ago, several people had a jar of wine among them and all of them wanted to drink it by himself. So they set a rule that every one would draw a snake on the
ground and the man who finished first would have the wine. One man finished his snake very soon and he was about to drink youxiwang.cn the wine when he saw the others were still busy drawing, so he decided to draw the feet to the snake. However, before he could finish the feet, another man finished and grabbed the jar from him, saying, "Who has ever seen a snake with feet?” The story of "Draw a snake and add feet to It.” tells us going too far is as bad as not going far enough.
古时几个人分一壶酒。他们都想独自喝完那壶酒，所以就定了一个规矩：每人在地上画一条蛇，谁画得最快，这壶酒就归谁。有一个人很快就把蛇画好了。他正打算喝这壶酒时，看见别人都还在忙着画，就决定给蛇再画上几只脚。结果，他的蛇脚还没加完，另一个人已经把蛇画好了。那人一下把酒壶夺了过去，说：“有谁见过长脚的蛇?”。这个故事告诉我们这样的道理：做得过分和做得不够都是不对的
郭氏之墟
On a vacation trip, Duke Huan of the state of Qi came to the ruin of the capital of Guo Shi , which perished long ago.
Seeing the desolate and bleak prospects of broken tiles, collapsed walls, and clusters of weeds, he could not help asking the local people about the reason of the ruin of Guo Shi.
They replied,"Guo Shi was fond of doing good deeds, and averse to evildoing, which led to the perdition."
When the Duke could not understand the answer, people explained ," Though he liked doing good, he had never been able to do so; though he hated evildoing, never could he help not participating. That caused the ruin of his capital."
齐桓公出游途中，来到已经灭亡许久的郭氏都城的废墟。
看到瓦砾残垣、杂草丛生的萧条景象，忍不住问当地百姓郭氏灭亡的原因。 百姓们回答说："郭氏由于喜爱善行善事。厌恶邪恶丑行而导致灭亡。" 齐桓公不能理解这种回答，百姓们便解释说："郭氏虽然喜爱善行善事，但从来都不能做到;尽管厌恶邪恶丑行，却总是忍不住参与其中。这就是他的`都城变成废墟的原因。"
合则存，分则败
A man once had four sons who never stopped quarrelling with one another. He was always telling them how much easier life would be if they worked together but they took absolutely no notice of him. One day he decided to show them what he meant. He called all the sons together and put a tightly tied bundle of sticks on the floor in front of them.
"Can you break that ? " he asked the youngest son. The boy put his knee on the bundle but though he pressed and pulled with his arms he could not bend the wood. The father asked each son in turn to try to break the bundle, but none of them could do it .
Then he untied the string and scattered the sticks.
" Now try, " he said . The boys broke the sticks easily in their hands.
"Do you see what I mean ?" asked the father. "if only you stand together no one can hurt you . If you all disagree the whole time and insist on going your separate ways, the first enemy you meet will be able to destroy you. " United we stand divided we fall.
从前有一个人，他有四个儿子。儿子们不断地争吵。他一再告诫他们说，如果他们一起干活儿，生活会舒适得多，但他们丝毫不理会他的意见。有一天，他决定通过示范把自己的意思告诉他们。
他把四个儿子都叫来，又把一捆扎得很紧的细树枝放在他们面前的地上。 "你能折断这个吗?"他问最小的儿子。小伙子用膝盖顶住，两只手又压又拉，都不能把那捆树枝弄弯。父亲让别的儿子挨个儿试试，看他们是否能把那捆树枝折断，但谁也做不到。
然后，他解开绳子，把树枝撒开。
"试试吧。"他说。四个小伙子用手轻轻一撅，树枝就断了。
"你们明白我的意思了吗?"父亲问，"只要你们联合起来，谁也不能伤害你们。如果你们老吵架，一定要各行其是，那么你们一遇到敌人，就会被打败。" 合则存，分则败。
父贤不足恃
Believing that to govern a country well you would have to depend on some people, Wei Wenhou asked Gu Juanzi, "Can I depend on my father, son, brother, and liegemen, who all have virtues and talents?"
Gu Juanzi gave him a negative answer and explained one by one, "Yao was noted for being a good father. But his son was exiled. Shun was noted for being a filial son, but his father Gu Shou could not tell evil from kind, and his younger brother was arrogant. Zhou Gong was a sage, but his elder brother was ordered to be executed by him. Shang Tang and Zhou Wuwang were able liegemen, but they overthrew their monarchs Xia Jie and Shang Zhou respectively. Those who depend on others can never achieve his goal and will not pervade long. If a monarch wants to govern his country well, he has to depend on himself."
魏文侯认为治理国家必须依靠一些人，便问孤卷子：“是否可以信赖有德有才的父亲、儿子、哥哥、弟弟、臣下?”
孤卷子一一给予否决并解释说：“尧是有名的闲父，可他的儿子丹珠却遭到流放，舜是有名的孝子，但他的父亲瞽膄却分不清善恶，他的弟弟也特别傲慢;周公是贤人，然而他的哥哥管叔却被他处死;商汤和周武王都属于能臣，他们的君主夏桀和商纣却被他们打翻。把希望寄托在别人身上的人绝不可能实现自己的目的，依赖别人的人也长久不了。君主要想治好国家，只能靠自己。”
狐狸和乌鸦
有一天，一只乌鸦站在窝旁的树枝上嘴里叼着一片肉，心里非常高兴。这时候，一只狐狸看见了乌鸦，馋得直流口水，非常想得到那片肉。但是，无论狐狸说什么，乌鸦就是不理睬狐狸。最后，狐狸赞美乌鸦的嗓音最优美，并要求乌鸦唱几句让他欣赏欣赏。乌鸦听了狐狸赞美的话，得意极了，就唱起歌来。没想到，肉一掉下来，狐狸就叼起肉，钻回了洞。
The Fox and the Crow
One day a crow stood on a branch near his nest and felt very happy with the meat in his mouth. At that time, a fox saw the crow with the meat, so he swallowed and eagerly thought of a plan to get the meat. However, whatever the fox said to the crow, the crow just kept silent. Until the fox thought highly of the crows beautiful voice, the crow felt flattered and opened his mouth to sing. As soon as the meat fell down to the ground, the fox took the meat and went into his hole.
凿壁偷光
Kuang Heng was born in a poor family. He liked reading books very much. He needed to work at daytime, so he had to read books during night. But he was too poor to buy a candle. One day, he found his neighbour had candles, but the light couldn’t go through his room. So he dug a small hole on the wall so that he could use the light to read books. From that day, he read books every night until the light went out. However, he finished reading all his books and there were no books for him to read. Then he went to a rich man’s house and worked for him without payment. The rich man asked: “ Why don’t you want the money?” Kuang Heng said: “ Because I only want to borrow your books.” The rich man agreed. Kuang Heng read the books one by one. Finally, he became a great scholar.
匡衡出生于一个贫苦的家庭。他非常喜欢读书。他需要在白天工作，所以他不得不在晚上读书。但是他太穷了，买不起一根蜡烛。有一天，他发现他的邻居有蜡烛，但是光不能穿过他的房间。于是，他在墙上挖了一个小洞，以便可以利用光线看书。从那天起，他每天晚上都要看书，直到灯熄灭。然而，他读完了所有的书，没有书给他看。然后他去了一个富人的房子，为他工作，不要报酬。富人问：“你为什么不要钱?”匡衡说：“因为我只想借你的书。”富人同意了。匡衡把这些书一本一本地看了一遍。最后，他成了一个伟大的学者。
邯郸学步
During the Warring States period, a young man lived in Shouling. He always felt that he was not so perfect as he thought. One day, he heard that people in Handan walked in a gracefully way, so he decided to learn to walk there.One morning, he set off for Handan without telling anyone. Upon arrival at Handan, he was surprised when he saw the situation. Everyone walked in a different but gracefully way, children walking actively, the old walking steady and women walking charmingly. So he made up his mind to learn how the people of the State of Zhao walked in Handan. No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to learn the gait of the people there. On the contrary, he even forgot completely how he walked in Shouling. In the end, he had no choice but to crawl back to his hometown.
战国时期，寿陵住着一个年轻人。他总觉得自己没有想象中那么完美。有一天，他听说邯郸人走路的姿势很优美，于是他决定去邯郸学走路。一天早上，他瞒着任何人出发去邯郸。到达邯郸后，他看到这一情况感到很惊讶。每个人都以不同但优雅的方式走着，孩子们走得很有活力，老人走的很稳健，女人们走的也很迷人。于是他下定决心，要学习赵国人在邯郸是怎么走的。不管他怎么努力，他还是学不会那里人的步态。相反，他甚至完全忘记了自己在寿陵是怎么走的。最后，他别无选择，只能爬回老家。
囫囵吞枣
Long ago, there was a young man who bought many fruits, like pears and dates. He sat at the roadside to eat them. An old man saw him and said: “Eating too many pears is good for teeth, but bad for your body.” The man asked: “How about dates?” The old man answered: “The dates are good for body but bad for teeth.” The young man thought for a while and said: “Ive got a good idea! I can eat pears with teeth and dont swallow them. And I can swallow dates without chewing.” Then he put a date into his mouth and swallowed it immediately. Unluckily, he was choked by the date.
从前，有个人买了一堆水果，有梨儿，也有枣儿，坐在路边上吃。有个老头儿看见了，对他说：“小伙子，梨儿可不能多吃呀。它虽然对牙齿有好处，可是吃多了对身体不好。”青年人就问：“枣儿吃多了呢?”老头儿说：“枣儿对身体是好的，可吃多了对牙齿不好，也不能多吃。” 青年人看了看梨儿，又看了看枣儿，想了一会儿，说：“哈哈，我想出了个好办法!我吃梨儿就只用牙齿嚼，不吞到肚子里去。吃枣儿，我就把它整个儿吞下去，不用牙齿嚼。”说完话，他就拿起一个枣儿放在嘴里，直接吞了下去。没想到，他一下子就被枣儿噎住了。
杞人忧天
In the State of Qi, there was a man who was haunted by the fear that the sky might fall. He was so worried that he could neither eat nor sleep well. His friend said to him: “ The sky is gathered by gas. We are living in the air. It is impossible to fall.” After hearing this, the man set his fear at ease instantly. His friend was also delightful.
一个杞国人，每天都担心天会掉下来，为此焦虑的吃不好睡不好。他的朋友开导他说：“天是由气聚集而成的，我们就生活在空气中。天是不可能掉下来的。” 杞国人听后，顿感放心。他的朋友见状也如释重负，开心异常。
同舟共济
In the Spring and Autumn period, the State of Wu and the State of Yue didn’t get along well. They had been fighting against each other for years.People in each country also didn’t have a good relationship. One day, the people of Wu and the people of Yue happened to be on the same boat to cross a river. At the beginning, they didn’t say a word with each other. When the boat sailed to the center of the river, a strong wind came. In no time, huge waves hit people’s faces. It seemed that the boat would sink at any time. Just then, they forgot all the hatred between two countries and began to help each other just like they were family. In the end, they safely got to the river bank under everyone’s effort.
春秋战国时，吴、越两国连年交兵，两国百姓彼此在感情上也很难共容。有一次，吴国人和越国人碰巧共乘一条船渡河。开始时，他们都不理睬对方。船至河心，狂风骤起，霎时惊涛骇浪迎面扑来，船随时有可能覆没。此时，他们忘记了仇恨，相互救济，好像一家人一样。由于全船人的齐心协力，终于安全到达对岸。
班门弄斧
During the Warring States period, there wasa carpenter named Lu Ban. He was good at making woody tools. One day, a youngman passed by a red gate. He held up an axe with his hand and said: “This axeis really good. I can make the greatest tools in the world with it.” Hearing this, people around here all laughed. One person asked: “So, can you make amore beautiful gate than this one?” “That’s so easy! I was a student of Lu Ban before! Making a similar gate is like a piece of cake!” The young man said arrogantly. “But the gate was made by Lu Ban!” All people said.
鲁班是战国时代的鲁国人。他是一个善于制作精巧器具的能手，有一天，一个年轻的木匠漫不经心地走到一个大红门的房子前，举起自己手里的斧子，说：“我这把斧子，别看它不起眼，可不管是什么木料，只要到了我的手里，用我的斧头这么一弄，就会做出漂亮无比的东西来。”旁边的人听了，觉得他太夸口，就指着身后的大红门说：“小师傅，那你能做出比这扇还好的门吗?”年轻的`木匠傲慢地说：“不是我吹牛，告诉你们，我曾经当过鲁班的学生，难道还做不出这样一扇简单的大门来，简直是笑话。”众人听了，忍不住大笑起来，说：“这就是鲁班先生的家，这扇就是他亲手做的?
杯水车薪
One evening, Zhao Da passed by a tea house when he came back from cutting firewood.There were a lot of people drinking tea there. He put the firewood outside and walked into the tea house. When he finished a cup of tea, he found his firewood on fire. Zhao Da shouted: “Oh no! It’s on fire!” He took a cup of water, ran out of the door and splashed the water on the fire. Other people in the tea house also took their own cups to fight the fire. However, instead of being put out, the fire burned even harder.
一天傍晚，赵大砍柴回来，路过一个茶馆，里面坐了很多人，有的在喝茶，有的在乘凉。他就把柴车停放在外面，也走进茶馆。赵大坐在那刚刚喝完一杯茶，只见茶馆外面一片红光，赵大放下茶杯，走到门口一看：原来是自己的一车柴草着火了。赵大喊起来："不好了，着火啦!"边喊边跑进茶馆，端起桌子上的一杯水，跑到门外往车上的柴草上泼去。茶馆里的人，一听赵大的叫喊声，也都忙着端起自己的茶杯，往车上泼去。可是，火不但没灭，反而燃烧得更猛烈了。
自相矛盾
A young man ran a business in the market. One day, he held up a shield and said proudly: “My shield is very strong. It can stop any spear in the world.” Then he held up his spear and bragged: “My spear is very sharp. No matter how strong a shield is, my spear can pierce it.” People all around here laughed when they heard the words of the young man. One of them asked: “So, according to what you said, your spear is the sharpest. No matter how strong a shield is, your spear can pierce it. And your shield is also the strongest. No matter how sharp a spear is, it can’t pierce your shield. Well, what will happen if I pierce your shield with your spear?" The young man was too embarrassed to say anything.
古时候，有一个人，他既卖矛又卖盾。一天，他在集市上叫卖，非常得意。他举起他的盾说：“我的盾非常坚固。无论怎样好的矛，都戳不穿它!”说完，他又举起他的矛夸口说：“我的矛非常锋利。无论怎样坚固的盾都能戳进去!”站在旁边的人听了，都暗暗地发笑。有人问他：“照你这样说，你的矛是最锋利的。无论怎样硬的盾都戳得进去。你的`盾又是最坚固的。无论怎样锋利的矛，也别想戳进去。那么，现在我用你的矛来戳你的盾，看看结果会怎样呢?”那个人窘得连一句话也答不上来。
按图索骥
In the Spring and Autumn Period, a man named Bo Le is an expert in identifying a good horse. He put his experiences in this area into his book Physiognomy Of Horses, which illustrated all kinds of horses with rich pictures and words. His son wanted to learn his skill about identifying a good horse. Then he read the book carefully over and over again. He thought he had mastered the skill. Once he saw a toad along the road, whose forehead was in accord with the features of a good horse. Then he rushed to his father and told him he had found a good steed. Hearing this, Bo Le didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. He had to reply jokingly: “ This horse does too well in jumping, so it’s hard for us to rein it. ”
春秋时期，有个人叫伯乐，他非常善于鉴别马匹，他将自己这方面的经验写成了一本书《相马经》，书中图文并茂地介绍了各类马匹。他的儿子想学到识马的本领。于是就把父亲的这本书反复诵读，之后，他就以为自己已经掌握了这个本领。有一次他在路上看到了一只癞蛤蟆，前额刚好与《相马经》上的好马特征相符，便以为找到了一匹千里马，马上跑去告诉父亲。伯乐被儿子弄得哭笑不得，就开玩笑的回答说：“这匹马太会跳了，不好驾驭。”
月攘邻鸡
今有人日攘其邻之鸡者，或告之曰：“是非君子之道。”请损之，月攘一鸡，以待来年然后已。”
如知其非义，斯速已矣，何待来年?
白话翻译：
有个人每天偷他邻居的鸡，有个人对他说：“这不是君子的行为。”那个人说：“我先少偷一点，每月偷一只，等到明年再完全改正。”
如果知道这样做不符合道义，就要赶紧改正，为什么要等到明年呢?
Once a Month
Now there was a man who stole a chicken from his neighbour every day.
"This is not the way a man of moral principles should behave." he was told.
"Well, then Ill reduce the number,"he replied,"Ill steal one every month and next year I wont steal any more."
since he knew he was doing something wrong,he ought to stop at once. why wait till next year?
野猪和狐狸
The wild boar and the fox
A wild boar azjun.com was sharpening his tusks against a tree one day when a fox came by.“What are you doing that for?”asked the fox. “There are no hunters around. Everything looks very peaceful to me.”“Quite true.” said the boar, “but when the hunter does come with his dogs I shall be too busy running away to have time for this. So let me sharpen my tusks while I can.”Be prepared.
有一天，野猪在树上磨牙齿，狐狸走过来。“你为什么干这个呀?”狐狸问，“附近又没有猎人，我觉得平安无事。”“不错。”野猪说，“但是，如果猎人真的带着猎狗来了，我只能逃走，就没工夫干这个了。趁我现在可以磨，就让我磨磨牙齿吧。”时刻准备着(有备无患)。
画龙点睛
Mr. Li is a good painter. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes.
Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isn’t a good picture.”
But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”
Mr. Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting. I don’t believe you.”
Mr. Li isn’t angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies.
李先生是位很好的`画家。一天画了一条栩栩如生的龙，但是这只龙没有眼睛。
周先生见了说：“这条龙没有眼睛。这不算一张好画。”
可是李先生笑着说：“如果我给它加上眼睛，它就会飞走了。”
周先生摇头说：“你吹牛。我不相信。”
李先生也不生气，只是拿起笔给龙点上眼睛。哇!龙真的飞走了。
对牛弹琴
Gong Mingyi was a famous musician in ancient times, who played the lute very well.
公明仪是古代一位很有名的音乐家，弹得一手好琴。
One day, while playing the lute indoors, Gong Mingyi saw a cow eating grass leisurely outside the window. He had a sudden whim to play some melodies for the cow. He first played the "Exercise of Qing Jiao", but the cow still kept on eating grass with head lowered. He seemed to realize that the melody was too highbrow for the cow to understand.
有一天，他在室内弹琴，看见一头牛在窗外悠闲地吃着草。他忽然想弹几曲给牛听听。他先弹了一曲“清角之操”。可是，牛还是跟刚才一样，只顾低着头吃草。他似乎意识到，这支曲子太高雅了，牛没有听懂。
So he played several other melodies, imitating the buzzing sounds of swarms of flying mosquitoes, and the bleats of a calf looking for its companions. At this, to his surprise, the cow stopped eating grass, but raised its head, pricked up its ears, wagged its tail and, pacing up and down in small steps, began to listen attentively.
于是，他弹了另外几支曲子，模拟蚊子成群结队飞来飞去的嗡嗡声;模拟小牛犊寻找伙伴的眸眸叫唤声。这样一来，这头牛竟然不吃草了，抬起头，竖着耳朵，甩着尾巴，迈着小步，留心地倾听起来。
后来居上
Ji Anlived at the time of Emperor Wudi of the Western Han Dynasty (206 B.C.-A.D.24). He was respected for being upright and just and for daring to speak the truth. He did not bother about amall matters in personal behaviour and in being an official. He was particular about actual effects and ,although he did not cause a stir ,he could keep the prefecture he governed in perfect order. Because of this. the imperial court transferred him to the central government from being the perfect of the Donghai Prefecture to being a commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officals.
汲黯是西汉武帝时代人，以刚直正义、敢讲真话而受人尊重。他为人和做官都不拘小节，讲求实效。虽然表面上不那么轰轰烈烈，却能把一个郡治理得井井有条，因此，朝廷把他从东海太守调到朝廷当主爵都尉——一种主管地方吏任免的官职。
Once,Emperor Wudi said that he would implement the policy of benevolence and justice of Confucianism and would do good turns to the people.Emperor Wudi Had hardly finished his remards when Ji An said that there was no need for the emperor to say so.Why should the emperor bother,Ji An said, about pretending to implement the policy of benevolence and justice since he was so greedy and avaricious within himself? This choked the emperor off. The emperor suddenly Changed his countenance and declared the meeting over. All the civilian and military officers at court were breathless with anxiety for fear that Ji An might bring disaster upon himself because of this. After returning, Emperor Wudi said to the people around him that Ji An was a little too rude and too straightforward.
有一次，汉武帝说要实行儒家的仁义之政，为老百姓办好事了。没等皇帝把话说完，汲黯就说：“陛下内心里那么贪婪多欲，表面上却要装得实行仁政，这是何苦呢?”一句话把皇帝噎了回去。汉武帝登时脸色大变，宣布罢朝，满朝文武都为汲黯捏着一把汗，担心他会因此招来大祸。武帝回到宫里以后，对身边的人说，汲黯这个人也未免太粗太直了。
For this reason ,Ji An was never promoted again. When he was the commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officials, both Gongsun Hong and Zhang Tang were low -ranking lfficials of little importance. Later ,they were promoted continuously. Gongsun Hong became the prime minister and Zhang Tang became the imperial censor. However, JiAns post remained thesame. One day, Ji An said to Emperor Wudi that the way the emperor used his ministers was just like piling up firewood, which meant that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers. Of course, Emperor Wudi could see that Ji An was complaining. So,turning to his ministers, Emperor Wudi said, "It is true that no one can stop learning.You see, Ji An is making more and more indiscreet remarks."
从此以后，汲黯的官职再也没有提升。他当主爵都尉的时候，公孙弘、张汤都还是不起眼的小官，后来，他们一个劲儿住上升，公孙弘当上了丞相，张汤做上了御史大夫，可他汲黯还蹲在原地没动窝。有一天，汲黯对武帝说，陛下使用群臣，跟码劈柴一样，是“后来者居上”啊!汉武帝当然听得出这是发牢骚。于是，转脸对臣下们说：“人真是不能不学习啊!你们听汲黯说话，越来越离谱了!”
This story comes from The Historical Records. Later generations use the set phrase "the latecomers surpass the old-timers " to indicate that successors can cxcel the predecessors, which is quite different from the original idea when Ji An said that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers.
故事出自《史记·汲郑列传》。成语“后来居上”，往往指后起的`可以胜过先前的。和汲黯说这话的原意，大不相同。
指鹿为马
In Qin dynasty, there was a powerful and evil counselor named Zhao Gao。
在秦朝，有个很得势的奸臣叫赵高。
Zhao Gao wanted to rebel, but he didnt know how many people in the court would stand by his side。
赵高想造反，但是又不知道群臣中有多少人会支持他。
So he worked out a way to test the people。
于是他想了个办法来测试。
He presented a deer as a tribute to the emperor in front of the court, and said that it was a swift horse。
他在群臣面前送了一头鹿给皇上，并说这是一匹千里马。
The emperor not accepting his statement said, "This is obviously a deer."
皇上不信，说“这明明是鹿啊。”
Then, Zhao Gao took this opportunity to ask the court, "Is this a deer or a horse?"
然后赵高借机问各位大臣，“这是鹿还是马?”
In the court, those who didnt dare to go against Zhao Gao agreed with him and said that it was a horse, those who dared to go against Zhao Gao said that it was a deer。
在大臣中，不敢反抗赵高的`都赞同说是马，敢于反对赵高的说是鹿。
Later, Zhao Gao remembered the counselors who didnt agree with him and persecuted them to solidify his power。
后来，赵高记住了这些反对他的人并加以迫害，以巩固自己的势力。
This story is still popular even today. People use this idiom to describe someone who calls white black。
这个故事流传至今，人们用这个成语来形容一个人颠倒黑白。
天衣无缝
one summer night, when the moon was very bright he suddenly saw a girl descending(下降) slowly from the sky. he observed the girl closely, and found that the dress she was wearing was seamless(无缝的) . he was puzzled, and asked why. the girl answered,"heavenly clothes are not sewn with needle and thread."
传说古代太原人郭翰在夏夜里乘凉，见一个仙女从天上下来，她身穿白衣，美丽绝伦。她告诉他她名叫织女。郭翰仔细欣赏织女的衣裳浑然一体，竟看不出一丝线缝，好奇问织女。织女答道：“天衣本非针线为也。”
this idiom is used metaphorically to indicate the flawless handling of things. it can also be used to indicate a perfectly written poem or other literary article.
神话传说，仙女的`衣服没有衣缝。比喻事物周密完善，找不出什么毛病。
买犊还珠
In the past, a man of the State of Chu intended to go to the State of Zheng to sell pearls.
从前，有个楚国人准备到郑国卖珍珠。
First he used rare lily magnolia to make a small exquisite case which he fumigated with the delicate fragrance of osmanthuses and Chinese prickly ashes. Furthermore, the case was inlaid with emerald-green jadeite, and adorned with attractive rosy jade. The whole case was decorated in an extremely exquisite way.
他先用名贵的木兰做了一只精巧的小匣子，又用幽香的牡桂和花椒把匣子熏了一下，并且在匣子上面镶了碧绿的翡翠，还嵌上引人注目的玫瑰石，整个匣子装演得十分考究。
A man of the State of Zheng saw this exquisite case and liked it very much. He bought it with a great deal of money, but he returned the pearl in the case to the man of Chu.
有个郑国人看到这只精美的匣子，非常喜欢，就用重金买了下来。但是，他却把匣子里的珍珠退还给了那个楚国人。
Later, people ridiculed the man of Chu by saying that he was good at selling cases, but not good at selling pearls.
后来，人们都嘲笑这个楚国人，说他很善于卖匣子，却不善于卖珍珠。
To go too far in the pursuit of form just like letting a presumptuous guest usurp the hosts role, which brings about opposite results.
过分追求形式，反而会喧宾夺主，效果适得其反。
子罕拒玉
A farmer in the state of Song once got a piece of stone with jade init.
宋国人有个农夫得到一块含宝玉的石头后，将它献给了相国子罕。
He presented this stone to Prime Minister Zi Han. But Zi Han refused toaccept it. The farmer explained, “It looks like just a stone, butthere is jade inside. It actually is a piece of treasure and suitable forhonorable men like you, not for us common people.”
子罕拒绝接受这块石头，农夫解释说：“表面上它是块石头，但里面含有宝玉，是个宝物，适合您这样的贵人使用，我们普通百姓用它就不合适了。”
“I know there is jade inside,” Zi Han said,” but I disagree with you. I think to have the virtue of declining things that do not belongto oneself is the real treasure. ”
子罕说：“我知道里面是宝玉。但我的观点和你不同，我认为具有不接受不应得的东西的`品德才是真正的宝玉。”
南辕北辙
Once a man wanted to go to the south, but his carriage was heading north. A passer-by asked him: “If you are going to the south, why is your chariot heading north? ” The man answered, “My horse is good at running, my driver is highly skilled at driving a carriage, and I have enough money. ” The man didnt consider that the direction might be wrong; the better his conditions were, the further he was away from his destination.
从前有个人要到南方去，他坐的车子却向北方行驶。过路人说：“你去南方，车子怎么向北行驶呢?”他回答说：“我的马很能跑路，我的车夫驾车的技术也很高明，加上我又带了充足的路费。”这个人没有考虑到，方向弄反了，他的条件越好，离他要去的地方就越远。
The idiom derived from this story indicates that ones action was the opposite effect to ones intention.
后来人们就把这个故事概括为“南辕北辙”，比喻一个人的行为和他的目的正好相反。
卧薪尝胆
During the Spring and Autumn period (770-476BC), the State of Wu launched an attack against the State of Yue. The King of Wu was seriously wounded and soon died. His son Fu Chai became the new King. Fu was determined to get revenge. He drilled his army rigidly until it was a perfect fighting force. Three years later, he led his army against the State of Yue and caught its king Gou Jian. Fu took him to the State of Wu.
春秋时期，吴国和越国之间进行了一场战争，吴王不幸受了重伤，不久就死了。他的儿子夫差作了吴国的新国王，他发誓要替父亲报仇。于是，他严格的操练他的士兵，把他们训练成了一支非常厉害的军队。三年以后，他对越国发动了战争，抓住了越王勾践，把他带回了吴国。
In order to avenge his fathers death, Fu let him live in a shabby stone house by his fathers tomb and ordered him to raise horses for him. Gou pretended to be loyal to Fu but he never forgot his humiliation. Many years later, he was set free. Gou secretly accumulated a military force after he went back to his own state. In order to make himself tougher he slept on firewood and ate a gall-bladder before having dinner and going to bed every night. At the same time he administered his state carefully, developing agriculture and educating the people. After a few years, his country became strong. Then Gou seized a favorable opportunity to wipe out the State of Wu.
为了复仇，夫差让勾践住在他父亲墓旁的破石屋里天天看墓、喂马。勾践表面上服从，心里面却想着复仇。几年以后，勾践被放回越国。他立刻开始秘密聚集一支军队。为了提醒自己不要忘了报仇，他睡在柴上，还每天在吃饭睡觉前尝一尝苦胆。同时，他专心治理国家，大力发展农业，加强民众教育。几年后，越国又变得强大起来，然后，勾践抓住一个适当的`机会消灭了吴国。
Later, people use it to describe one who endures self-imposed hardships to strengthen ones resolve to realize ones ambition.
后来，人们用它来形容人刻苦自励以达到自己定下的目标。
毛遂自荐
In the Warring States Period, the State of Qin besieged the capital of the State of Zhao. Duke Pingyuan of Zhao planned to ask the ruler of the State of Chu personally for assistance. He wanted to select a capable man to go with him. A man called Mao Sui volunteered. When the negoti-actions between the two states were stalled because the ruler of Chu hesitated to send troops, Mao Sui approached him, brandishing a sword. At that, the ruler of Chu agreed to help Zhao, against Qin.
战国时代，秦国军队攻打赵国的都城。赵国的平原君打算亲自到楚国去请救兵，想挑选一个精明能干的人一同前去。有一个名叫毛遂的人，自告奋勇愿意同去。平原君到楚国后，与楚王谈了半天，没有一点结果。毛遂怒气冲冲地拿着宝剑，逼近楚王，终于迫使楚王答应出兵，与赵国联合共同抵抗秦国。
This idiom means to recommend oneself.
“毛遂自荐”这个成语用来比喻自己推荐自己，不必别人介绍。
惊弓之鸟
In the Warring States Period, there was a man in the State of Wei called Geng Lei. One day he said to the king: I can shoot down birds by simply plucking my bowstring. When the king expressed doubt, Geng Lei pointed his bow at a wild goose flying in the sky, twanged the bowstring, and the goose fell to the ground. Geng Lei said, This goose has been hurt in the past. Hearing the twang of the bowstring, it assumed that it was doomed. So it simply gave up trying to live.
战国时期(公元前403―221年中国中原地区各诸侯国连年争战的时代)魏国有个名叫更羸的人。一天，他对国王说：“我只要拉开弓，空射一下，就能把天上的鸟射下来。”国王不相信。更羸便对准天上飞来的一只雁射去，果真那只雁听到拉弦的声音就掉了下来。国王感到很奇怪。更羸说，“那是一只受过伤的`雁。它一听到我拉开弓弦的声响，就惊慌得支持不住，自然要掉下来了。”
This idiom means that if one has been frightened in the past ones will may become paralysed in a similar situation.
“惊弓之鸟”这个成语比喻受过惊恐之后，有一点动静就特别害怕。
叶公好龙
There is a young man, Lord Ye. He likes dragons vey much. He draws many dragons in his house. The house becomes a world of dragon.
有个年轻人，姓叶，非常喜欢龙.他在屋里里面了许多许多龙。这屋子都快成了龙的世界。
A red dragon hears of Lord Ye, and is deeply moved. He wants to visit Lord Ye and makes a friend with him.
一龙真龙听说了叶公的事，很受感动，就想去拜访叶公，和他交个朋友。
“Hi, Mr. Ye! Nice to meet you,” the real dragon comes to visit Mr. Ye runs away as fast he can. “Oh, my God! Help! Help!” he runs and shouts.”
“嘿。叶先生!很高兴见到你。”这条真龙拜访叶先生了。可是叶先生飞快地逃了。忒边跑边喊：“啊股票配资平台是做什么的，我的`天啊!救命!救命!”
发布于：广东省文章为作者独立观点，不代表股指配资公司_股市配资公司_股票配资交易平台观点
